Voice Boxes – Isabella Schneider

i dream of being a renaissance man but it took me four months until i could refer to my room
as mine and admitting ownership of characteristics and abilities is risking responsibility/personality/potentiality. ‘the’ is much easier to use, there is only certainty and distance.

i thought i hated potentiality but really i just hate the prospect of possible failure.

i dream of being a renaissance man, experiencing james dean living © (drums, sculptures,
poetry, acting) but i am heartless and mindless. i am a woman and i am afraid and i am a fraud. l’art pour l’art seems appealing when worth is measured by originality and exceptionality.

i don’t want to write anything that has been written before. i don’t want to write anything.

i dream of redefining success /for myself/ so that i am not obliged to polymathically excel at
every discipline. when the succulent’s first flower stalk sprouted it died (on my window sill) and grew back eightfold. when i take care of something else i can forget debilitating ambitions and covert epiphanies.

i am better than i am.

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About aloudqmu

Aloud is a monthly poetry and spoken word open mic night, and literary magazine. We are based in Glasgow University's Queen Margaret Union, Glasgow, Scotland, UK. Here we wish to publish performance videos from our open mic nights, event updates, and the writing featured in our monthly Aloud Magazine, and some of the writing that didn't quite make the final cut.
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